I have said many times of late that I am becoming my father. I have less patience, am less tolerant and long for the "good old days". A lot of what my parents taught me is just now sinking in.
We went to Schlitterbahn yesterday thinking a Tuesday might be a good day to avoid the crowds. By the way, follow this link to their website if you want to see an "all American couple" http://www.schlitterbahn.com/ . I know some of you are groaning out there, saying here he goes again. My point is the photo is what is becoming a rarer and rarer example of what we used to be like. If someone resembling that photo was in attendance there yesterday, I missed them. We certainly did not miss the crowds as there were lines everywhere except the bathrooms. Which just got me to thinking... I fail to see the attraction of these large parks. Who wants to wait in line for hours for a minute or two of thrills? But I digress (as usual). America, you are chubby. Let's face it you're just fat. Not that I'm svelte, by any means. IMHO people that are overweight do not belong in bikini's, spandex or thongs. The image of a pregnant woman wearing a bikini is stuck in my brain. I do not wish to discriminate against you, just wear something appropriate. Hey America! In your pursuit of political correctness and elimination of corporal punishment you have raised a truly frightfully behaving bunch of kids. (My sincere apologies in advance to those of you that are and have raised polite, disciplined children). And where are Mom and Dad when these kids are terrorizing everyone? Now I am really going to piss a lot of you off out there. When I was a young buck and had the chance to explore the seedier side of San Francisco, I marveled at and even enjoyed some of the debauchery that went on. It was a novelty to see same sex couples showing affection in public and holding hands. Call me a bigot or an "old fuddy duddy", but I don't want to see that in an amusement park or in my local grocery store. Hell, I don't want to see anyone being overtly affectionate in public. (DO NOT LABEL ME AS A GAY BASHER, PLEASE!) I realize that I am swimming against the tide, but I can hope and reminisce. Moving on. Somewhere along the line America lost its innocence because there were some girls in attendance yesterday that were not trying to hide anything. At some point the difference between a "G" string and a bikini must have got blurred. Again, I guess I am swimming against the tide, but I wouldn't want my daughter exposed like that till she comes of age. Finally; let's discuss tats. Again, I must have missed something. America, did you go tribal in the last twenty years? Tattoo's use to be somewhat risque and/or they were applied discreetly. Even in the progenitor of them all, the armed forces, they can't be seen when in uniform. Now it seems as if everyone is wearing ink; including kids. Yesterday was a wake up call for me. I really don't think I've been oblivious, I just didn't realize the immense social change that has occurred over the last few years. If only that smiling, wholesome couple in the Schliiterbahn promotional photo was exemplary of our country...
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