How Hot is Hot?

I cooked chili competitively for many years. I won a few competitions and lost a lot more. One thing I learned is that spicing food is an art. Not everyone enjoys a dish so hot that the commingled flavors are indistinguishable, especially a chili judge. I bring this up because I had a dish at a Mexican restaurant recently that was so hot that the dish's flavors got lost. Made me wonder about life and the way we can come across some times. Funny, ain't it. I have worked hard, especially of late, to temper my responses when I feel provoked. A little less spice in my lingo, so to speak. So much of life, and cooking, is what you add or subtract from it. I'm no philosopher; but maybe remembering this spicy story might help you when your pot gets simmering.